How can I Stop Drinking Without Feeling Left Out?

By: Holly Wilson

As we move from the holiday season into a new year, many of us reflect on our habits and consider making changes for the better. If you’re among those who have enjoyed the festivities but are now contemplating a break from alcohol, you’re not alone. According to research by The New Consumer/Coefficient, nearly a third of Americans plan to participate in Dry January, where they will either cut back or quit alcohol completely for the month.

However, New Year’s celebrations often revolve around drinking. And once the new year begins, there will still be plenty of opportunities to drink socially at corporate kick-off events and happy hours, especially with many companies instituting “return to work” policies. So the question remains: How can I stop drinking without feeling left out on New Year’s and in the new year?

Fear of Missing Out

The fear of missing out (FOMO) is one of the biggest objections I hear when talking to professional women who want to cut back or quit drinking around this time of year. Everyone else seems ready to raise a glass in celebration, so how can they possibly not? I get it!

I remember my first New Year’s Eve four months into my journey to sobriety. It was December 31, 2020, and we were coming off the toughest year in many of our lifetimes. Everyone was ready to turn the page on a year of shutdowns and being shut in. The anticipation of a new year was more palpable than it had been since Y2K.

I would love to tell you that I navigated NYE alcohol-free, but I did not. I made a conscious decision to drink that night, and I immediately regretted it on New Year’s Day. That one decision kicked off my year of being on and off the wagon, as they say. I wish I had used the tools in my toolbox to remain sober that night, but I can’t change the past. Instead, I use what I learned from that experience to fuel my future.

As believers, we’re reminded in Philippians 4:6-7 that we shouldn’t be anxious about anything, but instead bring our concerns to God. This includes our fears about social situations and missing out. His peace, which transcends understanding, can guard our hearts and minds as we navigate these changes.

The Social Pressure for Drinking Alcohol is Real

As New Year’s Eve approaches, you might feel the weight of societal expectations pressing down. The idea of celebrating without alcohol can seem isolating, especially when surrounded by friends and colleagues who are toasting with champagne or cocktails. This internal conflict can lead to feelings of exclusion and discomfort, making it harder to enjoy the festivities.

While society pushes alcohol as a necessity for celebration, 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to “be alert and of sober mind.” Since ringing in the new year in 2021, I have celebrated three more New Year’s and attended multiple parties and celebrations alcohol-free, including three weddings! I’m not going to lie—the first alcohol-free events were a bit uncomfortable, to say the least. But as with everything else in life, the more I socialize without alcohol as part of my sober lifestyle, the easier it gets. I now use all the tools in my toolbox, the most powerful being the knowledge that I will wake up the next morning clear-headed and hangover-free, unlike many of the people at the party.

Practical Strategies for Socializing Sober

Here are six practical social strategies I use to navigate socializing alcohol-free.

I hope these tips will help if you choose to celebrate the new year and beyond without alcohol.

1. Plan Your Approach
   Before attending any events, decide how you want to handle offers for drinks. Prepare a few simple responses, like “I’m taking a break from alcohol this year” or “I’m trying something new for my health.” This can help ease any anxiety you might feel about explaining your choice.

2. Explore Non-Alcoholic Options
   Many bars and restaurants now offer a range of non-alcoholic drinks, from mocktails to alcohol-free craft beers. I often have a club soda with a splash of cranberry juice and a lime, which makes me feel included. Nobody has to know there’s no vodka or gin in my drink. I also bring my own non-alcoholic drink to parties if I’m unsure about what will be available.

3. Engage in Meaningful Conversations
   Focus on building connections with others through conversation rather than the drinks in their hands. Ask about their New Year’s resolutions, share your own experiences, and find common ground. This focus can shift the emphasis away from drinking and create a more enjoyable social experience.

4. Attend with a Sober Friend
   If possible, invite a friend who also prefers to socialize without alcohol. Having a supportive buddy can make navigating parties and corporate events more comfortable and enjoyable.

5. Set Personal Boundaries
   It’s okay to leave early if you start feeling uncomfortable in a drinking-heavy environment. Establishing boundaries for yourself can help you avoid situations that may lead to temptation. I used to be the last one on the dance floor, but now I am more than content to head home early, take off my makeup, and go to bed with excited anticipation for the hangover-free day ahead.

6. Embrace a New Mindset
   View your decision to socialize sober as an opportunity to be fully present and enjoy the company of others. Embrace this shift in perspective, and you might find socializing becomes more rewarding. I remember one of my favorite get-togethers early in my sobriety when I reconnected with a couple of acquaintances at a friend’s house. I was fully present that evening, had authentic conversations, and laughed like I hadn’t in years. I know I had a better time than I would have if I had been focused on keeping my wine glass full.

7. Turn to Prayer and Meditation
   Before social events, take time to center yourself in prayer. Ask God for strength and wisdom. Remember Jesus’s words in Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Instead of turning to alcohol for comfort, we can turn to Him.

The journey to an alcohol-free life isn’t just about willpower—it’s about spiritual transformation. When we release our grip on what we think we need (alcohol) and grasp onto what we truly need (God), we experience genuine freedom and peace.

Join the FAST Challenge

While estimates show that 35% to 40% of Americans will try Dry January, only 16% are expected to make it the entire month without drinking alcohol. Conventional wisdom says that this is because most people lack the willpower or self-control to change a habit, especially a daily one like drinking. But from my own experience, a lack of willpower isn’t the only thing to blame. Long-held beliefs and how we feel about alcohol keep many women stuck in a cycle of daily drinking.

If you’re considering taking a break from alcohol, I invite you to join my 21-day Finding Alignment Seeking Truth (FAST) Challenge. During the challenge, you will explore and start to change your beliefs and feelings about alcohol while learning more strategies for socializing and coping with life alcohol-free. This challenge incorporates evidence-based strategies and biblical principles to help you rebuild your relationship with God while breaking free from alcohol's hold.

By adopting these strategies, you can confidently enjoy holiday celebrations and beyond, all while prioritizing your health and well-being. Cheers to a new beginning!